Made up of three videos and three pieces of audio dialogue, this piece takes my own response, to the
domestic scene,of the emotional element of my brother emigrating. Each video is a response to the
different stages in grief of losing someone, even if on a temporary basis. The stages in the videos are
contentment, shock and anguish. Over the videos, I used a recording of the both of my parents,
telling their stories and thoughts of their oldest son emigrating.
The different elements of going through this certain type of grief, called for three different types of
performative videos. A final live performance ties the the three videos in a form of acceptance that this is
real and happening. When my older brother, Kevin emigrated, there was a sense of shock in the home. A
poignant silence that would be peculiar for such a busy household. My parents in particular were the most
effected. Through the performative movements, and the audio of the dialogue, the performance becomes
personal and ritualistic.
My research is a selection of live performances, that involved materials, coloured powders, and candles. I
worked mostly intuitively off the inspiration of the abnormal sense of absence in the household. I filmed
the final videos in the studio, and recorded the dialogue separately. I asked my parents separate questions,
my father found it the most difficult to speak about the emotional sense of loss. I asked him to tell fond
stories. My mother was easier to have talking about what it was like for her oldest son to emigrate,
though both of them, poignantly still seemed to have put on a facade when they speak about this, as if
afraid to convey their true feeling of loss they experience.